devolute.net

I’ve been listening open-mouthed as Frank openly mocks and stereotypes most of my friends on the radio. God, now I know what it’s like being a black muslim lesbian. Frank’s one of those two faced people who will lie to your face, and when he’s found out will say no, okay, I’ll tell you the truth now. And when he’s got your trust he’ll lie to you again, and piss in your mouth. Frank is a government anti-drugs information campaign, and my much-maligned friends are pot smokers.

The Talk To Frank campaign has been running for several years now, and has stepped from a friendly helpline service to an all-out televisual propaganda festival. From the first, Frank’s been all about matey advice and informed decisions. He’s also been about misinformation and eroding the last remnants of trust the perpetually disgruntled youth have in the British government. Frank doesn’t give a shit, he was hired to scare the crap out of kids TODAY, what happens tomorrow when they find out he’s been feeding them a crock is someone else’s problem.

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There’s a lot of talk in the news today (even in grown up papers) about racist taunts being used against Bollywood actress Shilpa Shetty in this years ‘Celebrity’ Big Brother. This isn’t especially surprising and is a result of the following two factors: Firstly, Shetty is better spoken than the rest of the screeching banshees that make up the house, she’s blessed with good looks, is wealthier and comes across as reasonably intelligent. Naturally, some jealousy has set in. Secondly; The show is composed mainly of self-obsessed, not especially bright and very, very bored people. What should we expect when they are living alongside someone from another country? These aren’t going to be highly-tolerant Grauniad-reading libertarians, desperate to learn about another land and a different culture are they? No. They’re type A thick ignoramuses making snide childish remarks. Big surprise.

However, what’s really saddening about this is not how it reflects on society (seriously; who gives a damn about Big Brother contestants?), or on the media or anything else. What’s really sad is that MPs have seen fit to make statements about it. This includes Gordon Brown. It’s all a little ‘old men trying to get down with the kids’, like watching grandad trying to skateboard. Why do they care? Well, a more sinister view might be that it follows what Chomsky-types may suggest: Bullshit like this is fielded so that the real stuff, the stuff that matters, is drowned out by this petty unimportant crap. Remember; these are the leaders of our country! We’re embroiled in wars that aren’t going especially well right now, surely they’ve got something more important to talk about? Or do they think we should worry about more important stuff like the words of a couple of knuckle-dragging non-entities on some silly tv show?

The internets is in a state over the recent display by comedian Michael Richards (who played the likeable Cosmo Kramer on US show, Seinfeld). He said some erm… select words to some hecklers and it’s was pretty shocking and/or hilarious. We could use his outburst to take a deep look at the racism inherent in American society. We could discuss freedom of speech or what constitutes good taste. We could talk about the fact that when his outbursts are directed towards jews, no one bats an eyelid. However, all things considered, I think it’s best to think about it like this: it’s really just a case of a not especially thoughtful comedian saying some not especially intelligent things.

Lets take the piss. That’s all comments like this deserve. Lets allow YTMND to help us do this in the funniest way I’ve seen so far. Also; c’mon Mel Gibson! You gonna let some 2-bit comic take your crown?

So, Borat, Borat, bloody Borat. I’ve not seen it yet but I have no doubt that when I do, I’ll laugh. Two hours of easily tricking idiots into displaying their inherent small-mindedness does sound like quite a giggle.

My token Borat mention (one feels that one must fit in with the rest of the ‘blogosphere’ and refer to Borat at least once) concerns this news item from the Sydney Morning Herald. Read it and then pretend the title is “Shock as actors character found to be an act!”. Wait, Mr. Cohen doesn’t really act like Borat/Ali G? Incredible news. Too many Ben Stiller films if you ask me. Idiots. Or maybe, like Sacha Baron Choen, they’re doing something subtle and ingenious and I’m just not getting it, hmmm…

I’ve taken to watching the Daily Show and the Colbert Report, which follows it every night. To those who know me this won’t come as a surprise; I am a bit of a political whinge-bag and satire is always very much what’s for dinner. However, TDS (as I’m now going to call The Daily Show) is very American and I’m not. Although you can watch it in the UK on More4, this is a somewhat watered-down edition for us Europeans. So I’m forced to BitTorrent it. I’ve started watching for two reasons: Firstly; I’m unemployed and apart from job-seeking and the odd little project, I’m not exactly super-busy (more on this in a later blog post, though). Secondly; It’s brilliant TV. Not only are these shows full of bad puns and wonderfully delivered swipes at the powers that be, but it’s also pretty educational. It’s all delivered from a centralist / media-critical point of view, but personally I don’t have a problem with that. The past weeks have featured an insightful interview with the Pakistani president and the moment Fox News labelled disgraced Republican creepy-congressman Mark Foley as a Democrat.

It’s quite worrying viewing sometimes but host Jon Stewart gives us Europeans a little insight into perhaps why things are the way they are in the US (and hence Iraq too I suppose). It’s reassuring to hear that it’s not just me who finds the content quite educational, as this Indiana University study claims, despite being ‘fake news’ it’s just as real as the ‘real news’ channels. Whether this is down to excellent TDS reporting, or a poor show from the other news networks, I’m not sure. I’ll hazard a guess and say it’s a bit of both. I heartily recommend my fellow ‘Eurofags’ to download via BitTorrent, tune in via More4, or at least head to YouTube and grab some clips.

I like Banksy. Okay, sometimes it feels like everything he does is “a pathetic cry for help” but it’s a consistently funny pathetic cry for help. His latest stunt? Replacing copies of Paris Hilton’s new album with a doctored copy. 500 copies apparently, spread across the UK. The changes are a little less than subtle but he’s left the original barcode on so they can still be purchased. The music has been replaced by a basic beat and some choice Paris Hilton ‘catchphrases’. The cd cover and inlay are all doctored and include Paris with a dogs head and some choice wording, my favourites being “Every CD you buy puts me even further out of your league” (qft!) and “Why am I famous? What have I done? What am I for?” Poor Paris. She is taking rather a bit of flak recently. I wonder why that is? Jealousy over her fortune? Her well-photoshopped good looks? Musically I’ve heard worse pop-music but maybe she just personifies all that people hate about the current state of celebrity? Hey, I guess this means Jennifer Lopez can continue unchecked now then.

Picture shown is not the Banksy job, I should warn you that his is a little NSFW. More details in the Indie and thanks to Flickr user Sharl for this wonderful set where you can see Banksy’s alterations in the flesh (as it were).

I try not to slag off one political party, partially because in many ways they’re all as rotten as each other. However one guy in particular is frankly taking the piss. He’s at the head of a party with disappointing recent performance. A party who for so long used to run the country but which now takes such a beating that it’s embarrassing. This man is David Cameron. He’s like a small child, running around his mothers legs, making as big a noise as possible in a desperate attempt to get attention and oh boy, does he try hard. We’ve had jaunts to Norwegian glaciers to highlight the problem of global warming, whilst quietly hoping that no one mentions how much pollution that wasteful journey caused. He’s claimed the KGB tried to recruit him (doubtful) and of course there are the famous pictures of him cycling to work. Again, he was probably hoping that no one would notice the Lexus following his bike all the way carrying his briefcase. It’s hypocritical and illogical behaviour, but I’d suggest that more importantly it’s behaviour designed to fool the British public. What got me recently is todays claim that Radio 1 glorifies knife crime. “Radio 1 glorifies bloody awful music”, “Radio 1 glorifies fat, unfunny DJs” sure, they’re headlines I can understand, but knife crime? It’s just another Cameron cry for middle-class-middle-england attention. Claiming 2 hours of weekly hip-hop programming contributes to violence on our streets isn’t courageous statesmanship, it’s arrogance. I’m pretty sure Cameron knows this, but as long as he gets the attention he so desperately cries for… it’s pathetic really.

There we go, that’s a good rant to break the recent blog silence!

First things first. I like Greenpeace. They’re a group of well organised people who actually give a damn about our children and who can kick up a fuss to bring matters that need to be discussed into the limelight. I may not always agree with them (although more often than not, I do) but I love the way they open up intelligent debate. Hell… they even make me laugh sometimes! However, I feel they’ve really let me down with this latest advert. The question of nuclear power is one that this country definitely needs to answer. We can’t carry on as we are. We need something new, something different but I’m not convinced what… yet. However I do know that this type of scaremongering isn’t helpful.

Emissions, cost, disposal of waste, sustainability; all factors that need to be thought about, but risk of terrorism? I don’t think this is a healthy way to invoke intelligent debate. The video is blatantly designed to prey on the current scaremongering, reactionism and sensationalism that is prevalent in the less constructive mindset of today’s current climate. If we’re going down the path of “we can’t do that because of the risk of terrorism” then I’m never going to get on a bus again, or a train. Or go to a concert in a big city! If we think like this then the terrorists win. Come on Greenpeace. You’re better than this.

> Watch Greenpeace’s advert: ‘Your Worst Nightmare’

(note: It’s still not as sloppy a job as this anti-gun lobby effort.)

I went to the cinema twice last week. The first film was Spielbergs new effort; Munich. it’s a “fictional story, based on real events” that follows the aftermath of the 1972 Olympics crisis in which 11 Israeli athletes were killed. It was a good film, the pace was keen as the main character was plunged into the world of international terrorism. All the household favourites were there; The PLA, CIA, Red Army Faction, Mossad, HMV Megastores (okay, I lied about the last one) and it was an intriguing story as to how everyone was always trying to work out who they were dealing with. The main character was allocated a team of ‘experts’ and sent into Europe to kill the men behind the Munich plan. In struggling to do this, the main character ended up doing things towards the end of the film that you would not of thought possible at the start. There was a great deal of death and destruction, as one might imagine dealing with terrorists. However one part just left me thinking; “What the hell have I just watched?” It was a scene that quickly flicked back between one lot of footage to another. The first was of a couple making babies. Fair enough right? But that was combined with the pretty horrific gunning down of a load of Israelis at point blank range and as the guy climaxed, the final bullets tore through the remaining Israelis. I mean, i don’t mind graphic depictions of sex, i don’t mind graphic depictions of violence, but both at the same time? Not entirely sure what Spielburg was trying to do there. Unsuprisingly the film didn’t even attempt to address the suffering of the Palestinians. I’m not sure if it was the right time or the place, but lets be honest; it’s a Spielburg film. He was never even going to bother was he?

War is hell ‘eh? Talking of hell; Jarhead. The tagline for this film was ‘Welcome to the suck’ and it couldn’t of been more accurate. The best parts of it were lifted directly from Apocalypse Now. The film can be split into emotionally unstable crying men. The first bit was ‘This job sucks’, then ‘Does my girlfriend love me?’, followed by ‘The desert is so boring!’, ‘My girlfriend is a slag!’ and then finally ‘This sucks! I came all this way and didn’t get the chance to shoot any Ay-rabs!’ and a bit of ‘We’ve come home, my life is boring’. I found it hard to be sympathetic. It’s like the MTV generation hits Vietnam!

I’m sure there are young marines out there suffering in the desert, but I’m not sure they were represented properly by this film. There wasn’t even any exciting gun battles or any exciting erm, anything. I was only kept awake by the light relief provided by the questionably inbred antics of Pvt. Fowler “Hey, look! It’s a cock, but smaller!” It was long as well. The film, not the cock. Boring but at the end of the film I chanted “U-S-A! U-S-A!”. Maybe thats the demographic they’re aiming for?

Next film i watch is going to be about fluffy bunnys or something. I’ve had my fill of human misery for a while.

Channel 4 have put the first episode of their new show, ‘The IT Crowd‘ online. I’ve just watched it and I think it’s brilliant. I’m yet to enter the ‘real’ world of IT work but I get the feeling that, tragically, it will all ring ever so true. It’s about an unloved IT deparment and the poor woman who is sent down to the basement to manage them. She’s a ‘normal’ person with no interest in ‘com-pu-tes’. Personally I found it laugh out loud funny and I’ve heard that it gets better with the 2nd episode. It’s written by Graham Linehan who wrote the brilliant ‘Father Ted’ and stars a still gormless Richard Ayoade (previously seen in the brilliant (and also geeky) ‘Nathan Barley‘) and Chris Morris as a guy called Denholm, who certainly talks like you’d expect a guy called Denholm to talk. There are loads of geek references, EFF stickers, RTFM teeshirts and “She didn’t even get excited when she saw this origional ZX-81!” It starts this Friday, but you can download it now from Channel 4’s website.

> Download the first episode directly here (.wmv)